Hey everyone, my name’s Briyenna, but you can call me Bri (like the cheese). I wanted to share a little bit about my background, specifically my struggles with alcoholism and mental health issues, and how they’ve shaped my journey in finding a career path outside the criminal justice system.
A couple of years ago, during my alcoholism, all while trying to live a “normal life” or at least that’s what I told those around me. I was functioning, but barely. I was in my last year of grad school, partying it up in my downtime, and not even focusing on my coursework. Tuesday night karaoke at a local bar was my favorite night of the week. I’d go out right after class ended and wouldn’t get home until 3 a.m. Then I’d wake up at 7 a.m. to go to work. I cured my hangovers with more drinking. I was completely unphased by the routine I had created for myself. I tried dropping out of school countless times, and I’d end up on the phone with my academic advisor until midnight, talking me off the ledge. No one around me understood my spiral, but I knew what was happening I was just in denial.
During this time, I was also pursuing my dream of becoming a state trooper. I know, right? Crazy, huh? How could I be a state trooper with the lifestyle I was living? It was easy at first because I knew I could lie my way out of anything. My family members were in denial too, because acknowledging my alcoholism meant they’d have to look at their role in it. They still, to this day, tell me it was all in my head. Ugh. Hearing that was frustrating, to say the least.
As I became more self-aware, things started to get harder. My awareness of what was really going on started to eat me up inside. I knew I needed to stop, but how could I? No one had noticed, so why would I bring attention to the problem (and the solution) at the time? I was walking around numb to life. I was in the middle of my push-up test at the state trooper academy when my instructor told me, “I’m being lenient on you keep pushing, or quit now.” I quit. I was just two push-ups short of passing onto the next round. I met some great women during this process, but I knew it still wasn’t right for me.
Throughout all these years, I never sought out proper mental health support because, in law enforcement, especially for state troopers, you couldn’t be medicated before joining the force. So, I suffered. Once I made the decision to quit drinking and prioritize my mental health, I started looking both outward and inward. Over time, I began to feel again, but I wasn’t there just yet. I started going to Thrive more often for Tuesday night yoga, though I was still hungover while doing some of the poses. I continued this for some time before eventually quitting cold turkey.
One night, I went out with my best friend to a local bar. I drank an insane amount, but I could still function and remember everything that happened. I even took care of my best friend that night. My tolerance was ridiculous for my size. Little ol’ five-foot-nothing Bri had the tolerance of an ox, and I was proud of it. But now, looking back, I feel disgusted. My skin literally crawls when I think about it.
This recovery journey led me to confront a lot of feelings that I had been suppressing with alcohol. I threw myself into recovery, attending groups like Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, church services, and sober events anything to help me change my life. By changing my people, places, and things, my life instantly felt lighter, and so did I.
Though my environments weren’t always ideal, I found a home within Thrive. It became my niche a place where I could grow and flourish as I was meant to. Writing this brings tears to my eyes because no one knows the changes I’ve gone through. It’s unimaginable. Making a drastic career change, I am now a Peer at Thrive Everywhere. My journey has shaped everything I am today, and I love who I’ve become. Of course, there will always be good days and bad days, but I’m proud of who I am now.