I did not come into recovery by choice. This all began for me because I drove my car into a tree while under the influence of prescription drugs. You would think that would have been a wakeup call for me, but it wasn’t. I was in severe denial of my drug use, but even more so of the pain that I was suffering from deep within. The drugs were a symptom of a much greater problem. I was using drugs to self-medicate my poor self-esteem, to cope with the loss of a loved one, and to deal with a very unstable relationship.
I ended up with legal consequences as a result of getting behind the wheel while under the influence. I was sentenced to probation, community service, outpatient treatment, and my license was suspended. Attending my first court mandated outpatient was a miserable experience. I said what I needed to in order to get by, but I was getting worse and worse as the months were passing. Probation was pleased with me and so was my community service. Meanwhile, I felt like I was dying on the inside.
Halfway through my interim probation, I had a near fatal overdose in my home. I was Narcaned three times. I was kept on a three day hold in the hospital for observation. After I was released, I knew that I needed to report to probation. I reported and was told that I had to go to detox and treatment. I packed a small bag and on the way to St. Charles Detox, a huge feeling of relief came over me. My addiction had been all consuming and it was exhausting. I was ready to stop and do something different with my life.
I ended up at Seafield inpatient after detox. While there I met someone that suggested I try sober living. I figured why not? If I don’t like it, I can leave. Well, I ended up liking it enough to stay for over a year. To this day it is still the best decision that I have made for my recovery. It allowed me to get away from all my environmental stressors and truly work on myself.
The second-best decision I made for my recovery was enrolling in an intensive outpatient program. I didn’t just go through the motions like I did the first time around. Thanks to what I learned in that program, I was able to heal myself, mend difficult relationships, and gain back coping tools to deal with life.
Life is amazing now! Working for THRIVE Recovery has been a great honor and privilege. I truly believe I am called to serve my peers in recovery. The work isn’t always easy, but it is deeply rewarding and satisfying. I never thought there was a way out from the hell that I was living in, but there was. Recovery was Possible. Recovery is Possible.